Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tongue was having words with Heart

So Tongue was having words with Heart.

“How can it be,” said Tongue. “That after all these years you are still just as fragile as a soap bubble? You need to work out or something. Get stronger. What about Tae-bo?”

“Ah, it’s true,” said Heart. “But you know how I can be. A set of brown eyes and a faded Sanskrit tat and I’m a gonner. It’s worse when he’s read more than two books and gets your jokes. That’s when I start thinking this time, this time, things might be different.”

“But they never are,” said Brain.

“Brain!” said Heart. “This is your fault as much as it is mine. Where were you when all this was happening? What were you thinking?”

“I’m just not on my game these days,” admitted Brain. “I was much sharper before all the cheese and wine, don’t you think? I was damn near genius back in the day. Frankly, I think this is the fault of Breasts,” Brain went on. “They are always looking for a reason to show off.”

“We cannot disagree,” said Breasts. “But we don’t know how many more years we are going to be upright like this. It won’t be long before we’ll be swinging down around Navel.”

“Don’t drag me into this,” said Navel, who in all honesty, isn’t any trouble at all. “But if you ask me, it’s Vagina’s fault. She’s been getting us into trouble for 20 years.”

“I’m sorry,” said Vagina. “I just often feel so empty.”

“It’s because you’re codependent,” said Bladder.

“Oh, shut up,” said Vagina, steaming. “You get filled up several times a day. You don’t know what it’s like.”

“I blame Hands,” said Ankles. “Without them we wouldn’t feel anything. Then we could be happy.”

“Don’t put this on us,” said Hands. “If Ankles were slender and fine, someone would fall in love with us.”

“But if we were slender and fine, we could never hold up Ass,” said Ankles, speaking in unison, as usual.

“Hey!” yelled Ass. “We’ve never once had a complaint!”

No, the body had to admit. As abundant as she was, there had never been a single complaint about Ass.

“Tongue,” said Ass. “This is really all your fault. What’s with you and all the talking, talking, talking. It’s exhausting. You should just shut up and let me work my magic.”

“Everyone loves a witty retort,” said Tongue.

“I think the key word there is witty,” said Brain.

And then the body went silent, each part fuming at the other.

Finally, Heart spoke, barely above a whisper. The rest of the body leaned in to hear.

“Did anyone see that cute guy in yoga?” she asked.

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Blogger Brando said...


6/24/10, 8:20 AM  

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